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The Goose Responds

August Horoscopes

Hey, what’s that on the horizon? Why, it’s August! Are you ready? I’m not! Read on to prepare yourself for what’s coming!

Taylor Swift’s “folklore” Songs as First Ladies

When Taylor sings about showing her lover around the park in her hometown where she used to read, it reminded me of Michelle and Barack’s first date. I couldn’t help but think of them walking through Chicago, Michelle’s hometown, to get some ice cream and sharing a kiss on the sidewalk. May their invisible string tie them together for a long, long time.

July Horoscopes

Oh no, it’s July! That means that 2020 is half over. There are pros and cons to this of course. Con: A clear reminder of the inescapable march of time. Pro: Only a few months until my favorite Christmas herbal tea is back in stores. This spirit of conflict will be present throughout the whole month, especially for air signs! Let’s dive in and see what else the stars can reveal to us.

Tips on Beating the Heat from an Edwardian Lady

“Wear light-weight silk panties and leave your titties hanging out. If you must wear a shirt, make sure it’s a linen button down and act out that scene from Risky Business.” I thought I would use my historian brain and to give you some tips on how to beat the heat like a proper lady from the Ladies’ Home Journal.

Privilege and “Expertise” in the Wide World of Food

We recognize the problem when someone is falsely representing our own cuisine, but not when it’s someone else’s. It means that the people responsible for creating dishes don’t get the credit. And it also means that the person who does get credit is likely to make mistakes with the recipe and share them with the world at large.

June Horoscopes

The Goose returns with your June 2020 horoscopes. Read below to see what urgent message your stars have in store.

Thoughts From My Run

Wait. I’m short of breath. My mouth is dry and my whole body aches. Do I have corona? I petted my neighbor’s dog. Should I have done that? Will my neighbors get corona? Will the dog??? Or am I just out of shape? Have my fitspo dreams been dashed before they’ve even begun?

Famous People I Thought Were the Same Person

I have no idea who anyone is. I can’t remember names and I can’t remember faces. This issue extends far beyond my daily interactions. It is particularly acute with celebrities. They’re always changing hair color and losing/gaining weight for roles and all white men with brown hair look the same on a molecular level. And I don’t see them nearly as often as I should. But some of these mistakes are 100% me being a dumbass. Here are my worst confusions.

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